Looking back, we reflect on the television landscape of the recent year, a handful of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with woeful writing, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. For a moment, as the final series started, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last season. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the flaws. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and consumption? The seemingly deliberate procession of cliches? Performances so bad they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. However, a second season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.
Given the legal troubles, abuse allegations and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive excess while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but flippant egotist.
Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
Shady figures convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.
In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing accents. But there were many other problems. Mainly that it was just really dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic.
Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into twee homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
There are clearly fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing catalogue. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.
It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.
How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.
Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the smart recruitment of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely jaunty, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.
We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for explicit escapades as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.
Marcus Sterling is a financial analyst specializing in precious metals, with over 15 years of experience in global markets and investment strategies.